Thursday, August 9, 2007
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
My summer has been unusual, and I guess I would have to say quite difficult. It's not a summer or a year for that matter that I will look back on with fond memories. But that's life and you get through and go on. In the midst of it I endured those lovely waiting-for-test-results days. I had a physical mid June and some concerns. So I went for a mammogram. (How fun is that?) I can't even begin to say enough about my doctor. He's just absolutely tops, but you can imagine then how busy he is and how many patients he has. Though he treats you as if you are the only patient he has all day, getting an appointment with him or receiving results is a different matter. After waiting for over a month for one result and over a week in another, I was out the night he called to discuss results of two tests, so I called two days later per his request. For some reason the tone of his voice (on the machine) just felt a bit ominous to me. Well, I never heard back from his office so waited over the weekend ... and I have to say I did pretty good with the waiting thing this time. Anyway, he called me Monday morning to tell me that one of the tests was not quite normal but he felt the culprit was more menopause and the mammogram was normal. So that was a great relief. Still, I can't remember a time in recent years when I have found it so difficult to achieve and accomplish things I have to do. I have felt things dogging me all summer, various things pressing down, and I just hate that feeling. I am trying very hard to check them off, systematically, one by one.
I am going through a taste of the empty nest syndrome. Having home schooled all these years, the kids and I have a certain wonderful kind of routine that has been completely upended this summer. When Molly and Jake started working part-time in May, I had no idea how many hours they would be working. I don't know where I've been all my life, but I thought part time was not working all that much and wishing you had more hours than you did. They're gone what seems all day sometimes, eight, nine hours at a time and it seems they're always working. They need to get their requested time off in 4 weeks in advance in Molly's case and we've just not been on the ball enough to plan for the future. We haven't had a weekend all summer where we've all been home. And that feels sad to us. Our summer has just dissolved, and I feel like I want to have a do-over. Waa waa . . . but I miss them, and it's been quite an adjustment for all of us. I guess I'm mind-weary and probably just need a good vacation which is not going to happen. Years ago, the advent of fall used to be my inspiring time so I hope for that this year.
Jack and I still go on almost daily rides in the woods. For some reason I have not enjoyed it as much this summer. Well, I should say from a nature-perspective. I still always enjoy the ride and getting out to see the river. I think it stems from the fact that we had nasty weather this past late spring. A horrible tornado ripped through a national forest and just snapped trees off in this huge wide long swath. We drove to see the damage and it was just breath-taking in an awful way. So we had tornados near this year. They seem to come nearer each year. I would always tell the kids when they were small that we would not get a tornado because it was unlikely then. But not anymore. We had a quick horrible storm one early evening about a week after the forest was cut through and some of us were upstairs. I have to confess I was gawking out the window at one point. You just couldn't see a thing. And then I think we realized we'd better go downstairs. Why we weren't in the basement I don't know. But then all of a sudden Jack said uh-oh and we saw one of our trees fly through the air and we ended up losing three trees in our yard, the top of one pine tree, and it chewed up our beloved willow. The worst for me was a huge white pine that I loved. It just snapped it off. I say it because we came to the conclusion that a funnel cloud must have gone over our property.
So the wind was unreal and when we went to the woods the next day there were places where the ferns were just flattened to the ground and so many trees or limbs were broken off and now they hang sadly with their leaves all brown and it's just ugly. I had so been looking forward to my orange Jewel-weed flowers blooming but the wind or hail snapped off all the tops and it made me so sad to think that I might not see them bloom this year. But I think I was wrong in thinking they bloomed in June. I am realizing they are a late summer flower AND they are blooming everywhere and many many more places than they did last year. I have to tell you, and this is just the way I am, it is just a sweet blessing from God. He knows how much I love them and He just gave me lots and lots of them this year.
My three month summertime stint with Netflix is almost up. I've seen some movies that made me wish I'd chosen something else, but I've also seen some really good ones. I loved Freedom Writers. It made me cry in spots and I thought it was just a fantastic movie. Having been born in and lived nearly half my life in Minnesota, I really liked Sweet Land. I saw Mrs. Brown with Judi Dench and liked that quite a lot also. I enjoyed the Wives and Daughters series very much, and Molly and I really liked Nanny McPhee. Just so cute without being silly, and I like Emma Thompson and of course Colin Firth. I have often thought I would love to write a screen play, and it interests me to know that Emma Thompson wrote this screen play and also the one for Sense and Sensibilities if I remember correctly. And lastly, The Ultimate Gift. For me a must see.