Sunday, April 27, 2008

Unexpected Turns

The days seem so unpredictable lately. It is the kind of time you go through sometimes where you look forward to more normal times or normal days. Like when you are sick in the winter and look forward to the warmth of summer because somehow the warmth of the sun and breezes is comforting. Thankfully we are not going through anything hard right now, other than what we've been going through since last summer which now is just more a way of life. (Don't mind the vagueness of that statement, or wonder over it...it's just not something I ever shared fully on my blog.)

I have been so frustrated with myself over recent months, even years, that I don't make time to read. I love to read. But I have been so out of the habit. It's one of the things I so want to change. I started reading this book last end of summer, and little by little I am almost finished with it. I have mentioned it here before, but wanted to mention it again as now that I am almost finished I can SO recommend this book. It has amazed me time and again. Though what amazes me more, with a sense of wonder/awe, is how God has blessed me with this book, spoken directly to me through it. I will share something that is a little hard for me to share, but I think and hope, as women you will understand. We deal with so many things, being a wife, a mother, trying to be a good and attentive friend which I fail at so often, and wearing so many other hats, juggling it all while sometimes battling hormones through it all. It might be no secret that I feel like a fish out of water where I live, still after over 20 years feel rather anonymous and out of place. We live smack dab in the middle of where Jack has lived his whole life, so he and I, while sweethearts, sometimes, well, usually, cannot relate to each other. It makes me less than desirable at times, and hormonally I struggle a lot. To get to the point, we were sitting on the couch the other night, he was watching something sporty and I was reading this book. I had just told him that one of the reasons I loved the book, Lessons I Learned in the Dark, was because every time I would read it, I would read something that said something profound to me that I was experiencing then, not recently, that very day or days. Every single time! Well, before the little conversation had finished, I had brought up some things, some little irritants that I wished were different, etc. etc. etc. We both sighed as it was not anything overly different than any other time or anything we really intended to finish talking about at that time. He headed up to bed, I planned to follow minutes later, and I read this:
"Rest where you are — Paul's example of how to chart a course through thorns suggests that we rest in our weakness. Until we settle into the position where we've been placed by His grace, we'll never see His strength made perfect there. And we'll never experience the journey as we follow Him. Yet instead of resting where God has placed us, lots of us resist. We do this by heaping guilt on others who don't seem to have it as bad, or perhaps by subjecting others to a litany of complaints. Such behavior is a red flag signaling that we're resisting."
Well, needless to say, I went up and read it to him. And we smiled. So, again, I heartily recommend this book. She is a wonderful author.

4 comments:

  1. Hi Pam,

    I really, really do need to email you, as I have intended to do for the longest time now. There is so much that I relate to each time I read your blog. You always 'speak' to me.

    I cannot believe that snow! It is in the 90's here too, & I do wish I could send you some of this hotness. I can't even imagine temps that low! I am not a cold weather person at all.

    How exciting that Molly got word on her book! I am so happy for all of you. I can't wait till I can actually purchase it.

    I do hope all is well with you. You are so dear & so precious to me. PLEASE lets do our long talked about 'email visit'! Love you Pam. Sending you big hugs!

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  2. Hi Pam...Just wanted to say hi. Hope things are going well for you. I know that the weather can play such a big part in our attitudes and outlook and I hope that you get some spring weather soon.
    While I was away (rtn trip from honeymoon) I searched for that book, "Lessons I learned" but I didn't find it. I am going to get it. Like you, seems each time I read, and I do ALL the time, I find something that speaks to me. Contentment....over the last several years, God has really had his work cut out for him with me, but I have finally learned that I am content. Not without some struggles on my part, but because God never gave up. I have learned for me,contentment is a attitude and once you can be totally content, life can be such a joy. Praise God that I don't struggle daily with that anymore.
    Thanks for sharing you feelings so honestly with us. Like Judy, your post always speaks to me too. Love you girlie!

    Have a great week. Hugs!

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  3. I could echo every word Judy and Cindy wrote as well. You are a sweetie pie, girl, and yes we can sure relate more than you know! I believe many of our struggles are common, and the associated emotions are common... and our responses to them are common. SIGH. It's HARD going through the sanctifying process.

    Your willingness to be vulnerable brings out the tenderness and understanding in our hearts, for we struggle as well.

    Hey, guess what! I visited your Molly's blog and left her a comment this past week! She's a very neat person! It's good news, that she is on her way to publishing now, at long last! YEA!!

    Hang in there... the weather will turn and so will our hearts. I know this because God is faithful!

    Love ya!
    Lynn

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  4. I have my Lessons Leaned Book and it she signed it for me and I have a picture of us here: .http://www.garden4mylord.com/ReadingRoom.html
    Hormones are the cause of so many of our emotional ups and downs. I finally had to go on meds for it. I can't believe that snow. I am praying for you. Hugs

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