I have been wanting to blog, to share and keep in touch with blogging friends, but so often I struggle to find the words or the inclination. Truthfully, I started this post with that sentence because I don’t know how else to start and if I don’t start, another day goes by, and then another. And because there are people who care about me, who have been there through these latest trials, and prayed for us, I want and need to keep in touch. And I appreciate it so much because for a good handful of years now, our family has navigated an ongoing string of sometimes painful, oftentimes scary, intensely discouraging life-happenings, with more downs than ups, which is sometimes very difficult. Life has just been abnormal for so long, I feel like I’m losing sight of who I used to be, wondering if I will ever really be her again, or if this is just who I am now. I’d rather believe this is just a season of life and that things will settle back in time. Maybe.
When I started this blog years ago, I had all kinds of ideas of sharing homemaking tips and recipes, but I have found I’m not really a very good homemaker, mostly because I’d rather sit and write books! I was always one of those moms who let the kids go wild, clean it up later, and why do today what you can get done tomorrow? Not always, of course. I do have my moments. We’re a creative household, so that works for us, but it does make more work and fosters disorganization. So, I am always playing catch-up. And, I might as well get it out of the way while I’m feeling introspective – my blog name makes me feel like an imposter.
I guess it is all in how you define homemaker. If it’s managing a household perfectly, then I’m not very good at it. If it is being the glue that holds us all together, nurturing and encouraging everyone in my care no matter the time of day, and working to make our home comfortable and enjoyable, then I’m pretty good at it.
I do have to say though, in this last year plus of living gluten free, I have had to become better at the practical matters of homemaking, out of necessity. My mountainous struggle lately, on top of cooking gluten free, is cooking for my daughter who cannot eat eggs or nightshade vegetables. Finding recipes that do not contain eggs, tomatoes, potatoes, and peppers is a royal pain and can get so frustrating day after day. Mayonnaise contains eggs. Taco seasoning contains peppers, and on and on. Most foods you normally eat these days contain those ingredients. Casseroles and soups without tomatoes and potatoes are all very limited now, if she is to eat along with the rest of us. Meal time feels like a vicious circle that comes around too quickly. Yet, there are good things to come out of all of this. We eat very few processed foods now. Most canned goods in our cabinet are nearly single-item ingredients. I just have to get better at planning and finding recipes that will work.
I had thought I would end up blogging about what I have been up to lately, which will sound like precious little, but I’d rather not write a huge long blog post and then not blog again for months, so I will save that for another day, very soon. Promise.