Wednesday, March 12, 2014

What a Lucky Girl

And I say that in a very evangelical “we don’t do luck” sort of way. It is a wonderful blessing and very comforting to have friends. I’m not really very used to that, to be perfectly frank. Though I haven’t actually mentioned this, I have quite a lot of Asperger traits. My social-ness or lack of it extends way beyond being introverted. I have family, and I have online friends. That’s pretty much it. And many times online I pull back, out of necessity, but one thing I have found, especially over the last few months, and which has blessed me…friends who really care.

In reference to my last post, I shouldn’t apologize or feel squeamish I guess, for reacting, being open about how horrible so much of this has seemed—but after the fact, it felt like the sort of things you would say faintly, because you're feeling spent, in a heart-to-heart with someone who knows you intimately. Only, I’d posted them to my blog, out loud, to be read at any time, by anyone—outside of the bounds of a heart-to-heart, and I just felt a little exposed. Because it's one thing to be honest, but quite another to belabor things you've said over and over—but can't stop yourself from saying again because you're simply feeling horribly drained—and then fret afterward you've said too much or in too raw a way. ugh. I should be past that by now. They say life has a way of kicking the stuffing out of you, so we all have our weak moments, I guess.

Anyway, thank you, for bearing with me, for caring, and mostly for praying for us. It is all very appreciated and God’s loving way of letting me feel his arms around me.

8 comments:

  1. Hi Pam, I am trying again here to post. I had a long post earlier and it disappeared. I think it is healing to be open to ourselves and others. Know that those of us that come to visit care and our praying. Big hugs.I have ADD and did not know it until I my son was diagnosed with ADHD. So happy to see you posting again :)

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    1. Awww...I always get so sad when a long comment gets lost. Would love to have read all you wrote! :) It's so interesting, isn't it, Susan, what we learn as we come through parenting? It's only in learning about Asperger's because of Sam that I finally understand why I am the way I am.

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  2. Pam, what a treat to find another post here! It's honesty a 'gift' to read you. I'm so thankful that you share with such an open heart. Each time I come here to read, I picture us outside on a porch swing, coffee in hand, chatting away. I so wish that could really happen!

    I totally get you...how once you've put words out there, you wonder if you said too much, & at times, wish you could reach out with both hands & take them back. But I guess when you think about it, life shouldn't be lived completely guarded. It's in the living & sharing that we grow closer & learn more about one another. The good ones will stick by your side, & the ones that don't...well, I guess they didn't belong there anyway. Right?? :) Seems like each time I leave a tag, I basically leave an email. lol

    I truly do feel as though we are kindred spirits Pam. I have so very much in common with you. I think we figured that out from the beginning though, didn't we? :) That makes me smile. I'm so very thankful that the Lord allowed us to cross paths. Praying daily for you sweet friend. Please know that I am one of those that care, & cares deeply! Love you Pam!!

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    1. Oh, I love the thought of kindred spirits. :) One day, Judy. I wish that porch sitting could happen, too. I think of all of us, in heaven... It's going to be really sweet. :)

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  3. Hi Pam,
    I am so happy to see you posting here. God bless you dear friend, you are such a blessing. I love how you write..but I think you already know that. :) You are in my thoughts and prayers. much love xo


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    1. Pam, that's just sweet. :) Thank you. Hope it is warming up for you this week!

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  4. Hi, Pam, I think it is good to share feelings and so often God prompts us to share things that helps another. I'm just getting to know you but I can feel a heart connection. Praying for you and your family.

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  5. I think you are right, Melanie. I do think about this when I share things, that maybe in doing so it will help someone else feel there is someone out there who is going through the same thing or at the least, understands! Loved your comment. :)

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