And I say that in a very evangelical “we don’t do luck” sort of way. It is a wonderful blessing and very comforting to have friends. I’m not really very used to that, to be perfectly frank. Though I haven’t actually mentioned this, I have quite a lot of Asperger traits. My social-ness or lack of it extends way beyond being introverted. I have family, and I have online friends. That’s pretty much it. And many times online I pull back, out of necessity, but one thing I have found, especially over the last few months, and which has blessed me…friends who really care.
In reference to my last post, I shouldn’t apologize or feel squeamish I guess, for reacting, being open about how horrible so much of this has seemed—but after the fact, it felt like the sort of things you would say faintly, because you're feeling spent, in a heart-to-heart with someone who knows you intimately. Only, I’d posted them to my blog, out loud, to be read at any time, by anyone—outside of the bounds of a heart-to-heart, and I just felt a little exposed. Because it's one thing to be honest, but quite another to belabor things you've said over and over—but can't stop yourself from saying again because you're simply feeling horribly drained—and then fret afterward you've said too much or in too raw a way. ugh. I should be past that by now. They say life has a way of kicking the stuffing out of you, so we all have our weak moments, I guess.
Anyway, thank you, for bearing with me, for caring, and mostly for praying for us. It is all very appreciated and God’s loving way of letting me feel his arms around me.