Thursday, July 24, 2014

Pins and Needles

It’s so much easier—for me—to blog when the thoughts are already there and just tumble out effortlessly. Not to mention less time-consuming when my attention is needed elsewhere so much of the time. When I have to strain to even figure out what to say, I just keep thinking tomorrow, hopefully they will come easier tomorrow. I know a lot of it is my state of mind, and perhaps doing memes would help, but I have to be honest—I’m not there.  It would produce a post, but the stuff of memes and blogging is just.… my life right now (hand aside) is not anywhere near normal. You know how people go through stages of grief? Well, I am in stages of something, coping maybe, learning to accept a new normal, but often enduring the mental strain of being a caregiver. And now, when I am still typing mostly one-handed, it just makes my brain hurt.

When I wrote life’s little interruptions last week, I really expected to turn a corner and be very much better soon, but it actually got harder, more tedious. I was so not expecting the nerve pain. Though I am sure it is a sign of healing, what a pain! It’s worse when finger movement brings it on, with breath-sucking fire-hot sensations and lingering soreness, but then there are the countless little needle-like stabs. The constancy of it these past many days has made me really look forward to when I can just use my hand regularly again. I do see improvement in my little finger though. It still feels dead when it isn’t being stabbed by needles, but some feeling is returning along the back of it. Jacob took my stitches out yesterday, so that is a nice change. As always, I so appreciate your prayers for my family. Red heart

4 comments:

  1. Pam, I am praying for you and for your healing. Nerve pain is definitely not fun but hopefully will subside over time. I can understand your thoughts on blogging. I want to be consistent with mine but at times I have nothing of relevance to write about. You just have to do what you can do. Typing one hand has got to be tedious. You're a writer and you have stuff that needs to come out. And it will eventually. Meanwhile, let your hand heal. God bless.

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  2. Hi Pam, since I don't use blogger, I don't know when you post unless you leave me a tag. But I was at Melanie's after she tagged me and I saw that you had posted. I am praying that you have complete healing in your hand. I find that blogging my feelings helps. I have journaled my good times and bad times. Grief is hard to go through. It can rob us of our hope. Isoation makes it worse so I am glad you are blogging. Praying for you my friend. Hugs

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  3. Oh Pam! I hurt for you...I truly do. I wish I could do more for you than to pray, but then again, prayer has so much power in it. I know this is a hard, hard time for you, & I trust that it will get better soon. You know the email invite I sent you a few months back? Please consider it, as I think you'd find a safe place - a soft place to 'fall'. We all need that sometimes in life. I will try so hard to write you this weekend. There's so much I want to say to you. I love you Pam. I'm praying. Sending you big hugs!

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  4. Hi Pam! You are in my thoughts today, so I thought I'd drop by & tell you, & let you know that I'm praying. I hope your hand is better. Have a blessed Tuesday...love you. Hugs

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